Cabo

I love this picture. It was taken from the balcony of the condo we stay in when we are down there. I've only been there three times and never for longer than 10 days...but it feels like home when I am there. Maybe because that is where Dave and I had our honeymoon. I spent my first days as a wife there. Really that is the biggest change my life had ever gone thru...so it be there as I was making the change from single thinking to married thinking makes that place special.

As I am writing this I am trying to decide if becoming a mom was a bigger change than becoming a wife...and really it is hard to say. Both were such big things, yet both felt so natural and so normal like that was how life was always supposed to be. I did get a lot less sleep in the days after becoming a mom...which was hard. I love my sleep and really since I got pregnant with Seth I can count on two hands the number of night that I have slept thru the night. I had to get up to pee at least once a night from the very beginning. And then there was heartburn, and backaches, and the baby kicks...all before the baby was born. In the first weeks after he was born I thought I would never sleep again. I remember my mom sending me to nap and laying there staring at the ceiling honestly too tired to sleep. And then as he got older I tried to sleep when he slept so that meant that I would feed Seth about the time that Dave left for work, and then we would sleep till about 8, get up, feed him again, and then sleep till the next feeding. I was feeding every 2 hours at first so one time I remember feeding him at 8, putting him in chair to sleep and falling asleep on the couch. At 10 he woke up, I looked at the clock at thought you should sleep another hour, so I rocked his chair till he was asleep and then went back to sleep myself. It was only later when I was done feeding him that I realized that I had gone an hour longer than I should have. I felt so bad. But I realized that he had gone back to sleep, and if he had been dying of hunger he would not have gone back to sleep, so I did not feel bad for long.
So maybe becoming a mom was not a bigger change, it is just that I had to recover from from surgery at the same time that I was sleep deprived at the same time that my hormones where out out of control at the same time that I was learning how to care for and understand a new little person. That is a lot...