Sleep...or lack there of

I am having a hard time with Lucy's naps.  We've been a good patten of 10 am and 2 pm nap for a little while...maybe since her birthday.  But this week everything has been off.  I am wondering if I need to move her to just one nap...maybe around 11...But she wakes up so early that I don't think she could make it that long, and I don't know that she would sleep long enough for her to make it all the way to her bed time at 7.  Maybe it just cause we have been out of the house that last couple of mornings...tomorrow I can stay home, and see if that helps...

This is the hard thing about babies and toddlers...just when you think you have them figured out, they change.

Seth on the other had, naps even when I don't want him to.  I stopped requiring him to nap about a year ago, and he still takes one maybe 3 times a week.  And as long at it is early enough in the day, I don't care.  I do care when it is 4:30, and he wants to nap.  I know that if I let him he will not sleep at bed time.  I have at least 2 days a week where that happens...so that leaves me, trying to get dinner started, holding a baby who may or may not have slept, and trying to keep Seth awake...all of which probably sounds like a lot of screaming to our neighbors...

It is quiet now...so I am going to use what time I have left till one or both is awake and start dinner...maybe get a head start on today's craziness...

SUMMER!!!!

Summer is here...well almost, we have about two days according to the calender, but the weather, and our schedule have felt like summer for a week or so.  Tomorrow I am planning on joining a bunch of other mom's down at Long Beach Bay, for what I hope will be a weekly trip.  Tried last year, but with a under six month old, the beach has too hard.  Next week, I am going to try to take Seth to the dollar movies again. We had a great time with that last year, and just last night Dave reminded me that I need to have time with just Seth.  Not sure what else we are going to do, but I am wanting to have fun with the kids. 

I have a vague excitement about this summer, that is more that just the thought of playing the beach.  Not really sure what else it is...maybe it is being in our new house (which I love), and getting to know our neighbors (there are all really nice).  Whatever it is, I think it is going to be a good summer!

Married

My Brother got married yesterday.  The day was lovely and special and long and busy and beautiful and sad.  I am not sad that he is married, I am so happy for him.  I am happy that he and Jesse opened their eyes to see how perfect for each other they are, and I am happy that he has someone to love who loves him back with the same intentionality that loves with. 

I am sad for the change, for how our relationship is never going to be the same.  I know that it already changed when I got married...I just did not feel the change then.  I realized a few months ago...before they got engaged even, that Ed had been through this process when I got married, and I was clueless to it.  Ok, maybe not clueless,but I really did not get how it felt to him for me to have a new #1 guy in my life.  And I guess that is what I am really mourning...the loss of position in Ed's life.  Jesse is now his #1, and she should be, but I am going to miss being so close to him.

And I know that Erica is feeling the same thing X2 right now, cause she is being shifted around in both Ed and Jesse's lives.  And what I really am finding that wanted, but can't have now is some sort of closer.  A last _______ with Ed, something to mark the fact that we are never going to be the same.  A few months before I got married, he and I went to a Sigur Ros concert as a last date.  Looking back, it helped me mark the shift from him being my "go to" for things to Dave being my "go to".  I don't know what it meant for him...but I guess I kinda wanted something along those lines...or maybe just a conversation. But I just feel forgot about and left out. 

And I know that he has been super busy, and I have been super busy, and that this is how life grows and changes and it is good.  But I miss my brother.