Emotions are funny things. I realized today that I am not overwhelming sad anymore. I can think about that fact that I lost a baby and not cry. A few months ago I did not think that was ever going to happen. And that is the thing, when you are in the midst of an emotion it is the only thing you know...and everything is colored by it. As it fades in intensity other emotions are able to find their way back in, but it happens so slowly sometimes that you not aware of the change until after it has already happened. And that is what happened today...I had a passing thought about not being pregnant and there was no sharp pain, no dull ache, it was in that moment just that...a passing thought. And that is when I saw how far I have come. Oh, I am still sad...just not overwhelmingly so. I think I will always miss my baby and wonder who he was and what he would have been like...but now I am not consumed by the "what ifs"