I as was asked to talk about Marriage. It was exciting and daunting at the same time. I thought I would post my notes here. I write them out word for word, so this is pretty close to what I shared that morning. Enjoy!
Hi everyone let me start by saying that I feel privileged
and excited to be sharing with all of you this morning. When Jaq first asked me to share on Marriage
and the Gospel, I was a bit overwhelmed at the bigness of the subject. So my prayer for the morning has been that I
disappear and that you all are able to see a bigger, clearer picture of Jesus
and his plan for marriage.
Rynelle just shared with us a beautiful intro into not only
what the Gospel is, but the power it has when we apply it to all areas of our
lives.
I would like to start by taking the grid “Creation, Fall, Redemption” and applying
it to marriage.
1.
Creation: Gen 1:26-28a – “And God said, Let us make man in our
image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea,
and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and
over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth. So God created man in his
own image, in the image of God created
he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said
unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: ….”
Gen 2 tells the story with more detail, but these verses show us that God’s
original intent was that men and women were to be two pieces of a puzzle that
together make a complete image. Man
and woman were partners in the task that God had given them; they were in
complete unity with God and each other.
2.
Fall: In Gen 3, Adam and Eve disobey God, sin
enters the world and the result is seen in the curse that God Speaks in vs
16-19. Where there had been unity and
peace, there was is now strife and contention. Instead of being partners, men
and women are often pitted against each other. Relationship was broken between
God and Mankind, and between men and women.
3.
Redemption: Thru Christ and the Cross we are redeemed
from the cruse – Gal 3:31 “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by
becoming a curse for us, for it is written ‘Cursed is everyone who is hung on a
tree.’” And in Christ we are made new – 2 Corin 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is
in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” Because
of our redemption in Christ, we and our relationships are able to be
transformed and restored to God’s perfect intention.
SOOO—What is God’s intent for marriage? How are we supposed to live it out? What does it look like? That is what I would
like to talk about for the rest of my time.
In Marriage both sides are called to put the other’s good
first, Philip 2: 3-8 puts it this way: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or
vain conceit, but in humility consider other better than yourselves. Each of
you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of
others. Your attitude should be the same
as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider
equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the
very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in
appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even
death on a cross!”
This is the core of a Gospel centered marriage. One quick example of putting others’
interests first from my own life, is Dave and Crossfit. Because of how his work schedule has been for
the last year or so, he can only work out after work, so that means he is home
after 6:30 3-4 times a week, and each day is different. When this started, and I realized that it
meant I would be making dinner and feeding the kids on my own most nights, I
had to let a lot of stuff go. I know
that his working out would benefit him and in the long run our whole family, so
I let go of my “right” to help at night.
I purposed that I would make it easy for him to work out and would
encourage it as much as I could. It is
hard and it sucks some days, but this is one area where I can put him first.
And that what this passage is talking about, and it applies to big and little
things.
I am sure that all of us have heard sermons around the New Testament
passages on marriage, or at the very least we have read them ourselves. So I am not going to read them now, I am just
going to give you the references so you can read them on your own later if you
want: Col 3:18-19; 1 Peter 3:1, 7; Eph 5:22, 25…
Pulling the instructions for husbands and wives out of each
passage we see:
Husbands are told to love their wives, to lay down their
lives, to not be harsh with them, to be considerate, and treat their wives with
respect as partners and co-heirs.
Wives are told to submit. I know that is a curse word to
many of you and in our culture it is a big NO NO, for sure. If we had the time, I would love to spend
more time talking about submission, but let me just say, submission as the
bible talks about it, is not about being forced to do something. But rather, it
means looking at the cost, and choosing to lay down your rights, because you
trust God and because of that trust you choose to trust the authorities He has
places over you.
In the culture that the Apostles were speaking into,
marriage was not the same as it is today.
Men, as the head of the house hold had complete control over everyone in
the household, even to the point of being able to point someone to death.
Women, more often than not, had no say in who they married. They were passed
from their father’s home to their husband’s home often as part of a financial
or political contract. So the instructions that Paul and Peter gave both sides
– the husband and the wife -- were very counter-culture. Men were not to see
their wives as property, but to love them to the point of being willing to die
for them. Women, who up to this point had had to say in their own lives, were
to engage their wills and choose to follow their husbands.
The Gospel calls us to marriages that are radical in the
eyes of our modern culture as well. Our
culture says that marriage is about finding your soul mate & therefore
personal fulfillment; or that marriage is a stable environment for raising
children, or maybe it is about the practical tax and financial benefits. But Gospel centered marriages are to be so
much more. Not just in the fact that we are called to live selfless lives thru
marriage, but marriage itself is to point to something bigger. Let’s go back to Eph 5:22-32 Paul not only
gives instructions for marriage, but uses it as a picture for Christ and the
Church. To Paul, marriage was an Icon of how Christ loves his church. In evangelical tradition, we don’t use
religious icons, so you may not be familiar with the terminology, but Icons are
anything that in their simplicity, point to a bigger idea or truth. Something that plays the role in our everyday
lives, are product logos. If I were to
show you the Apple logo, it would bring to mind Apple’s products, and the
“lifestyle” that Apple used to promote its products. What an icon is (in this case a piece of
fruit), is not as important as what it reminds us of (cool phones and
computers). In the same way, the day to
day details of our marriages—kids or no kids; one income vs. two; SAHM vs
SAMD—are not as important as whether our choices come from hearts that are
humble and seeking each other’s best interests.
Our marriages are not called to be just shinier versions of
the culture around us. We are called to marriages that are a sign post that
point people to Jesus, his love and sacrifice, and call them to respond with a
life laid down. I know that even as I am saying this, some of you are thinking
that it is fine for me or any of the elders wives, because their husbands are
doing their part, so it is easy for you.
But regardless of where our husbands are at, we are each responsible to
obey Christ for ourselves. And we can’t
do this on our own – it is not about trying harder, it is about each of us
going back Jesus daily, to ask him show you the places in your heart where you
need to change and for answers to our questions and power to walk those things
out. Only then will our humility,
service, care and sacrifice become a beautiful picture, an Icon of Christ and
the Church.
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