Easter 2017
Writing about each of the kids has had me reflecting on my parenting choices and changes.
When Seth was little I had such idealistic views of parenting. I was going to be firm and consistent. And I was not going to change, I was going to have the same standards and the same methods for both first born and the youngest.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I really thought that not changing was the right way. I did not value the growth that each child would cause.
I was wrong. Change is good.
My view of children and parent was narrow in the beginning. Do X the right way and Y will happen. I did not appreciate how much babies are little individuals right from the start. What works for kid A in a situation is most likely NOT was is going to work for kid B in the same situation.
I was also very short sighted about what a good kid was/is. My vague picture of a good kid was really something more like a cute robot that you could get to keep still and quiet whenever it was inconvenient for them to be _________...other than cute and quiet.
I did not know that if I wanted kids that knew how to communicate I would have to let them have a voice...to listen to their dissent and take it to heart. I would have to practice humility and apologize for all the times that I don't live up to my own standard. If I say "in this home we speak with respect, and we don't yell at each other, no matter what we feel." Then I have to not yell at them not matter how pissed off they make me, and I have to say sorry EVERY stinkin' time I slip up.
But I also did not know how much joy I would get from seeing them grow as individuals. They have each surprised me so much. Seth is a fantastic public speaker...he lead a group project where his team had to give an oral report on something. They got 100%! Every time he has to do a presentation in front of the class he gets an A. Always has. He is so natural at it that even having a stutter does not stop him. His stutter HAS NEVER stopped him from speaking up, or participating. And I am so incredibly proud of him, both for pushing thru the challenge and for leaning into his natural gifting.
The reality of raising tiny humans to be strong, kind, capable humans is so much harder, so much bigger, so much more wonderful than anything I ever thought before they placed the first tiny human in my arms and let me keep him.
Changing is good. Growing is good. Repenting is good.
I am so grateful to my 3 (not so) tiny humans for making me change. I am so glad I am not the mom I thought I wanted to be 10 years ago while I was counting down the last month for Seth to be born. I think I am a better one.
I was also very short sighted about what a good kid was/is. My vague picture of a good kid was really something more like a cute robot that you could get to keep still and quiet whenever it was inconvenient for them to be _________...other than cute and quiet.
I did not know that if I wanted kids that knew how to communicate I would have to let them have a voice...to listen to their dissent and take it to heart. I would have to practice humility and apologize for all the times that I don't live up to my own standard. If I say "in this home we speak with respect, and we don't yell at each other, no matter what we feel." Then I have to not yell at them not matter how pissed off they make me, and I have to say sorry EVERY stinkin' time I slip up.
But I also did not know how much joy I would get from seeing them grow as individuals. They have each surprised me so much. Seth is a fantastic public speaker...he lead a group project where his team had to give an oral report on something. They got 100%! Every time he has to do a presentation in front of the class he gets an A. Always has. He is so natural at it that even having a stutter does not stop him. His stutter HAS NEVER stopped him from speaking up, or participating. And I am so incredibly proud of him, both for pushing thru the challenge and for leaning into his natural gifting.
The reality of raising tiny humans to be strong, kind, capable humans is so much harder, so much bigger, so much more wonderful than anything I ever thought before they placed the first tiny human in my arms and let me keep him.
Changing is good. Growing is good. Repenting is good.
I am so grateful to my 3 (not so) tiny humans for making me change. I am so glad I am not the mom I thought I wanted to be 10 years ago while I was counting down the last month for Seth to be born. I think I am a better one.
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